He was not the tallest man, or the most handsome, neither was he the most athletic of the lot. No, he was none of those; however, when he opened his mouth to speak at one of the gatherings in the hall, my attention never strayed. Voice like honey produced by bees maybe only found in heaven, eloquence as smooth as a snail’s glide; never in a hurry, and clear-cut with his delivery. Love at first sound?
My mother always said to me “Never love a man more than he loves you”; although I had that charge stitched on the sleeves of my heart, this man came and undid all the damn seams in one fell swoop.
I did not have to work hard for his attention either as I also captured the minds of people; my small eyes, loud voice and domineering aura put together always get me more than my fair share of curiosity and scrutiny. It was months later before he noticed me, but for some reason in my heart I felt no fear, neither did I at any point in time fret over his attention going elsewhere. Well, the spirits that accompanied me without my consent also helped but—I’ll never admit it.
We courted for exactly six months before we got married—I had just turned 18, more than ready to start a family of my own. Working or farming was never my cup of tea, I wanted seven children, a big house and a garden where I could grow vegetables and herbs. I wanted the big tree in the corner of the compound where I would set up my altar of worship. I had simple, straight forward dreams about the rest of my life—and I was blessed with the perfect man to implement this dream with. If only I had known, I would have been 100% honest with him from the beginning.
My fear got the better of me and I didn’t tell him about the powers I had or thought I had; how would I explain talking to all those people who had died, HIS parents and sister included? Would he still be mesmerised by my small eyes or see them as tools for evil? Would he still enjoy my meals cooked with love or be rife with suspicion? Would he think all our children would be doomed to a life of the occult, as servants to our gods? Not like he was a church going man, but he didn’t subscribe to our traditional gods either. I didn’t ask for this either you know? I just woke up one day and I could see them…or was I born this way? Ah, abeg me I don’t know too, and my parents don’t know. If they do, or did, then they have a great way of acting oblivious. In order for my house to remain peaceful, I relocated my altar to the forest. Even this was not enough because…the gods never tell you “Today you will serve for 30 minutes”, no. There’s no set time, or a schedule for their demands; they just summoned me whenever they pleased. My marriage, my home, my husband—the fear of losing them never stopped me from serving my gods. I was called to this life and no single bone in my body was willing to trade it for the life of marital and maternal bliss. I would be having a conversation with my husband, or be set for the market or even in the middle of a transaction and one of them will whisper in my ear. Just like that, my feet will carry me to the forest to do their bidding.
By the second year of our marriage, everyone knew of my mysterious “walks” to harvest waterleaf. “Why not just BUY in the market like everyone else?”, he asked me one day. “They are not as fresh my love, you understand nau. Please I won’t be long!” and off I go to pick vegetables I seldom needed at that time. When I was unable to keep a child in my womb, my beautiful husband’s patience had worn thin with me. He blamed my distraction and trips to the forest—so imagine me pronouncing my pregnancy two weeks after our neighbours had to search for me in this same forest for hours. I was found on the floor, in a bed of waterleaf, unconscious but intact—my husband checked out of our marriage and finally walked away the night after our son was born.
The loud ringing in her ears forced her back to the present. She looked down at the face sat before her, sighing, she shook her head. “Your son isn’t coming forth Anna. Please, let me rest. Something is wrong on that side and until I can understand what, I may be blocked from our spirit friends.” Anna got up, sadness and disappointment colouring her facial features. Without a word, she turned and walked out of the temple, slamming the door in her wake. Mama sighed.
It had been three days and Mel was not back; neither was their body anywhere in the forest. For the first time in a long time…
Mama was afraid.
Candid. Real. Me. 