The sun was just beginning to set.
The clouds closest to it had turned a bright shade of burnt orange; becoming a shade lighter the farther away the clouds were from the sun.
Her laughter rang through the house, landing beautifully on my ears as I walked back to the balcony, tray in hand.
She smiled at me as our eyes met.
It felt like another lifetime; it was a recent memory yet distant in real time. The house was confounded with shadows now; the dark silhouette of memories made.
“Near them, near to their precious darkness, their lovely devouring gloom”
One of her favourite quotes. She loved Anne Rice; read every single one several times over, and she would quote random parts to me sometimes. That’s the only quote I learned from her.
I’m in her favourite chair on the balcony, watching the sun go down. I know that it still burned a lovely shade of orange against the clouds. Today, like all others, it’s all grey.
“Mel”
“Mel”
“Mel”
She’s calling to me again.
Sighing, I rise and go to her.
I walk through the house slowly, picking memories, twisting the reality in my mind; tweaking what happened to what could have happened, to what should have happened. I pause by the dining table.
The chandelier shone bright as the bulbs cast their light against its glass parts which in turn cast a beautiful pattern on the ceiling and walls. Music played low in the background, the symphony of dinner filled the house; cutlery on dishes, glasses making contact with the table top as they journeyed from the mouth back down, the refilling of glasses, regular table chit chat, laughter… Played on and on as dinner ensued.
Another christmas with friends.
Family ceased to exist for us since we were exiled because of our love. We walked away from our families almost 10 years ago, and we haven’t looked back since then. This–friends–was the only family we had; and each other, of course.
“Mel”
“Mel”
More laughter.
“MEL!”
I turn around sharply.
Yes. Yes. I’m coming my love.
Memories… So close yet truly far away. One foot after the other, I slowly make my way to her. On the wall, one of our many picutre frames hung crooked. I reach out to straighten it.
“Remember one of my favourite quotes of Anne Rice? Queen of the Damned? A conversation between Armand and Daniel?”
“No baby, which exactly?”, I typed away on my laptop as she paced before my reading table in our study.
“Lemme recite it”
She pauses. Then as if in a trance, she stands still, eyes open…
“It is chaos after you die, it’s a dream from which you can’t wake. Imagine drifting half in and out of consciousness, trying vainly to remember who you are or what you were. Imagine straining forever for the lost clarity of the living…”
I’m watching her as she recites the quote… So beautiful.
Then I notice the tears trickle down her cheeks.
“Mel… What if that’s what awaits us on ‘the other side’? Chaos. Confusion. Another dimension of pain and misery which we believe we leave behind in life, hoping for peace and some damn quiet in death. What if…” She starts sobbing, “what if its just…..more pain?”
I was beside her before she finished the question. I pull her to a chair and we began discussing death and all his friends, and somehow I calmed her immediate fears. She smiled before leaving.
“Mel”
“Mel”
“Mel”
“Mel”
“Mel”
Sighing, my hand drops from the picture and I resume my journey to her.
My steps getting slower and slower as I get closer and closer.
I know what I promised, what we swore to do.
I remember…
Our oath.
Under the full moon, naked, glistening wet, fresh from our late night bath, we stood. Slightly intoxicated from all the wine we had after dinner, I could see the crazed glint in her eye. It was funny to me… Exciting. Adventurous.
I just wanted to humour her, show her that I loved her enough to delve into the mad depths of her mind and beliefs.
She whimpered as she drew a short line on her palm then handed me the knife, I did the same.
We held hands, our cuts on each other, and together, recited the oath she had beautifully penned two weeks earlier when she got this insane idea.
“Bound with blood, bound with wine.
Today, tomorrow, forever in time.
Forever, I am yours and you are mine.
Together, apart; darkness and night,
day and light; in mind, of heart.
Even in death, we’d never part.”
We repeated it 3 times.
I immediately felt a burst of energy go up my arm, down my spine, to the tips of my toes. Suddenly, this pure, undiluted urge overcame us and in no time, we were on the grass, rolling, moaning and squirming; in response to where the pleasure took us. Time stopped. It was just us, the moon and our inexplicable lust.
It was the bright, warm rays of the sun that roused us from our slumber; giggling and holding hands, we ran into the house.
Gently fingering the spot I cut on my palm–I cut a little too deep–I stand before our bedroom door.
“Mel… Don’t fight it. Please come to me. I’m lost without you”
I whisper, “I’m scared. I’m scared”.
“No baby, no. Please don’t be. I’m here. We’ll be together again. Only then will we be content. Happy. Forever. At last. Mel? Come to me my darling”.
Wiping the tear that rolled down my cheek, I open the door.
The last rays of the sun were gradually disappearing over the horizon. I walk to the window, back to the bed; I feel the gentle breeze carees my face.
I know.
I know it’s her.
I find the strength suddenly and I walk to the four poster bed. Pulling the drapes to one side, I sit, my back to her.
It’s cold here.
Eerily cold.
“Mel”
“Mel”
“My darling Mel”
I couldn’t fight the tears now.
For a year I had fought this…… This call.
I thought I was losing my mind at first until she came to me, reminding me of that night. Under the moon.
“We’re one forever, you and me. In life. And in death”.
I woke up crying, drenched in sweat.
She had told me several times that no matter who went first, there would be no burial, just a full body preservation. One would wait for the other on the other side.
She left first.
Selfishly too.
She was lost in her mind.
She went too deep into the darkness there and I lost her to it. She’d wake up in tears, begging me to hold her or I’d run from the room, startled awake by her screams and the sound of breaking glass.
One by one, our friends left us.
Our only family.
Till it was just the two of us.
I loved her too much to leave her.
I was bound to her.
Bound In love.
Bound by blood.
I was tired that day, I had a deadline to meet and she understood how important this particular job was to me. She promised to keep the day drama free so I could work.
As usual, I got lost in my books and papers and laptop… I didn’t hear her muffled sobbing outside the study.
Hours later… Even I lost track of time. The silence of the house was troubling. I called out to her, she never responded. Room by room I went searching until I walked into our bedroom; found her dressed in the white dress she wore for christmas the previous year (I had it custom made. The idea was for us to look like ‘bride and groom’; mine was made in black), in bed, asleep, a peaceful look on her face.
She was cold. And pale.
I knew.
I knew she was gone.
There was no note. No goodbye. Nothing.
Just an empty glass on the bedside table.
From that moment, my world was cast with the curse of grey, black and emptiness. I saw no colours, perceived no sweet smells, heard no pleasant sounds.
For a year she called to me.
“Mel”
“Mel”
“Mel”
“Mel”
“Mel”
For a year I fought it.
Till today.
I can’t fight it anymore.
Now, in my black dress, I take my glass, drain its contents and lay down beside her. Taking her hand in mine and struggling with the tears, I smile.
“I’m coming baby. I’m coming. At last”
I look out the window one last time.
The sky’s blue.
The breeze carries in the faint fragrance of flowers from the garden outside.
I hear the birds, the sound of leaves moving as the breeze instructs.
As I close my eyes, I see her.
She kisses me.
She was right.
I’m happy here.
With her.
Now we’ll always be together.
In death.
As we were in life.
Forever.
* * * *
Sidenote: The oath was provided by the lovely @Wired_Wierd!
Candid. Real. Me. 