Bedtime woes…

The kiss on my shoulder.
My night companion.
The ray of light at the end of my long night ahead; the light I look to when the time to rise is nigh.
My guiding light…
Sputters to life the moment his lips touch my skin.
Like a torch, I carry it in my heart as I brace this darkness…
This period of mobility in stillness…
As I welcome sleep.

His arms…
Right hand under my head, left hand over my torso.
His arms…
My strength.
This sleep…
This darkness……Is more than just darkness.
It continues.
There’s more.
I’m awake but I’m asleep.
Eyes open and shut…
Its life in sleep…
Or a dream, as its popularly called.
There’s life in this life…danger lurking, evil hovering, pain; familiar company…
His arms…
They give me the strength to brace this world.
This life beyond life.
This………

……Sleep.

My bed is empty now, however.
As I look at my bed
I replay these hard truths, this epiphany, in my head.
I have to face this.
Alone.
Again.
Ignorance is bliss…they say.
They were right.
You see, with this realisation came the difficulties.
When I didn’t know, I didn’t think. I didn’t worry.
Now I know, I ache.
I want him here.
But…

Kmt*
Fuck this.
I’m going to bed.